


Half Lucid Love Stories

by orphan_account



Category: All Time Low, Tonight Alive
Genre: Depression, F/F, High School, Jalex - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack thinks he can't love anything except his guitar, but then Alex tumbles into his life and he realizes he may be ready to give it another try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half Lucid Love Stories

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So. This is a massive oneshot. May be triggering because everyone is depressed. The independent living program is extreme artistic license because in reality Jack would never get approved and I simplified the procedure a lot.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for Olivia and Sunny

It's 5:00 am on a Sunday morning that Jack realizes he doesn't love anyone, except maybe his guitar. He's loved people, past tense but they're all gone, fading into the shadows and there's nothing left but Jack (a fidgety teenager with constant dark circles under his eyes) and his nameless guitar (a battered, rickety old wooden thing that he bought from a yard sale when he was ten, and hasn't let out of his sight since).

Maybe since the guitar is the only remaining constant in Jack's life he should name it, but for some reason every single time he tries to think of something he comes up blank. He knows that most guys name their guitars after their girlfriends, or some girl they like, or the girl they lost their virginity to (not that they'd say it like that) but Jack's kind of certain that he likes guys and he most definitely doesn't have a boyfriend.

Besides, a guitar named Slasher would be a pretty shitty guitar because a) nobody actually names their guitar Slasher and expects to be taken seriously and b) the guy that took Jack's virginity did so by force. He's pretty sure he was raped but honestly Jack doesn't like to think about it because thinking about juvie just makes him want to throw up. 

The bus is full of hispanic cleaning ladies and the occasional fast food cook. The cleaning ladies give him suspicious looks even though they've been on this same route together at least six different times in the last three months. Jack likes to mix up where he performs because the shop owners can get annoyed with him and call the police, which isn't a pleasant thought.

The cooks probably look at him and think he looks familiar. They don't recognize his face from the multiple times he's slunk inside their restaurants, hood pulled up and lips chapped during the winter. He knows the drill- he slides into an abandoned booth, finishes the salty fries, the greasy burgers and the limp salads before slipping back outside into the chill and his small, frigid apartment. 

Jack remembers the one time his hood slipped off when he was gobbling down a half finished burrito. It was over winter break, and without the lunches his school provided he was only getting one meal a day- two if he was lucky. The burrito was a happy discovery, an unusual patch of good luck on his way to mall where he would play his guitar and hopefully make a few dollars. 

He was eating the burrito like a madman, hoping nobody noticed when his traitorous hood slipped off and the angry looking waiter that was striding towards saw him and stopped in his tracks.

Jack thinks that he looked worse than usual that day. The heat got turned off in his apartment briefly because he couldn't pay the utility bill until Wednesday, when he got his paycheck from his job at a record store. The frigid air wasn't kind to the lanky teenager, who got less sleep than usual. 

The waiter took in his pathetic appearance, and something softened in his eyes, because a few minutes later he was bringing Jack a fresh plate and whispering that it was already paid for.

\- 

Rian is already smiling when he hands Jack a plate of tacos. Rian always smiles when Jack visits and Jack can't really tell why. He doesn't know that Rian does it- makes an intentional effort to be happy- because Rian thinks that whenever Jack pauses, whenever he's not telling stupid jokes or gushing about the new shipment they got in the store, he becomes sad. A sad that makes Rian think that Jack has forgotten how to really be happy.

Jack doesn't know this when he visits Rian, all he knows is that the guy is always weirdly chipper and laughs at all of his terrible jokes with a desperate kind of enthusiasm.

"I have a new one for you, you know." Jack says through a mouthful of shitty meat and corn tortilla. "This one is even worse that last week."

Rian raises an eyebrow sceptically. Last week Jack came up with a perfectly hideous concoction that had absolutely no point. It will be difficult to top it now, but if Jack has taught anything to Rian it's that his imagination has no bounds, for better or worse. 

"'Kay, so why is it good that seagulls fly over the sea?" Jack says, already becoming more animated.

"Um- because they do?" Jack scoffs at Rian's answer and opens his mouth to retort, but Rian has turned away from Jack and his face is becoming progressively paler as a tall, heavyset man walks towards him with a look on his face that screams manager and an inevitable loss of a job.

Rian gives Jack an apologetic look and moves away to the manager. They're standing outside of the door now and Jack can see the manager yelling through the window. Jack picks at the threads of his hoodie cuffs nervously, his good mood dropping instantly. It's clear that Rian is about to get into trouble for giving him food- he can hear fragments of the conversation already. He tries to shift his chair closer because if there's one thing that foster care taught Jack it's how to eavesdrop on conversations.

"Jesus Christ, is he the one you've been giving food to? I've lost money on this kid. Does this look like a fucking charity?" The manager spreads his arms out, gesturing to the large bell above the door.

Rian shifts uncomfortably. "I- sir- I think he's homeless and-" Jack tunes out at this point because, honestly, he may dress like shit and constantly be hungry and cold but he does have a home godammit, and a job. Sure, he works for someone who's only twenty-two and a half, but Jenna runs an awesome record store with actual good music (they burned all the Justin Beiber when she inherited the store from her aunt) and she's the only one who ignored the fact that he was sixteen at the time, with a criminal record. She's also one of his only friends.

The manager is talking again, but he's mumbling now like he's embarrassed so Jack can't really hear everything he's saying, just something about how he's sorry for yelling and yes, Taco Bell should give back to the community and no, the news crews weren't here yet and god he hoped it wasn't on the internet because then he would be fired and he had kids to feed.

Rian enters the restaurant again, a triumphant flush on his cheeks even though he's shivering from the cold outside. Jack knows that Rian is just trying to help him and that he doesn't know- it's hardly his fault because Jack doesn't tell him anything but bad jokes- but despite all of this Jack can't help but be pissed at him.

"I'm not homeless, y'know," Jack spits out, staring at the remains of his burrito. He can feel Rian's silent apology mixed with curiosity burning into his forehead so he lifts his head up and flicks his hair out of his eyes. "I have a home. Like, a home that I pay for. Not a cardboard box."

Rian looks out the window, embarrassed. "I didn't think you lived in a-"

"S'okay, I know I look like shit 75% of the time." Jack cracks a grin, signaling to Rian that it's okay now, he knows that it wasn't meant as an insult. "I'm technically too young to be owning an apartment and stuff but there was in independent living program offered in my group home and I qualified. Five stupid courses on cooking later I had an apartment. Martine still checks in every three months or so to make sure I'm not starving or something." 

"Oh. Wow. That's cool. I'm really sorry about that by the way, I didn't know and it was a wrong thing to say."

Jack shrugs and reverts back to staring at his plate. "It's really okay, I get it."

Rian looks relieved (maybe he's gotten more attached to the teenager than he meant to) and changes the subject quickly, eager to move onto something more positive. "There's a kids event down at the mall, some Halloween, pumpkin painting nonsense. I think it's probably a good day for busking."

This is promising news for several reasons. One is White Marsh will probably have some kind of heater spread out through the area so the kids and parents are warm, so Jack won't be shivering while he's playing. It's only forty degrees outside but Jack hasn't had enough money to make a trip to Salvation Army yet so he's still in a thin hoodie better suited for the summer. The parents will also be more cheerful and willing to give out money. If they're anything like Jack's parents then they'll probably try to steal his guitar and trade it for drugs, but he doesn't really want to think about them today, so he dismisses it and tries to lose himself in conversation with Rian.

Rian lets Jack stay at the Taco Bell longer than normal, until eight. He sits in the corner, mostly unnoticed as workers start to stream in, the most notable being a guy with violently red hair and another shorter one with tattoos badly concealed by a white shirt and chef's apron. After most of the staff are accounted for the preparation for customers begins- people are setting tables, beginning to defrost frozen meat and affixing fake, slightly strained smiles onto their faces. Once the sign hanging on the door is flipped from CLOSED to OPEN Jack is asked to leave by Rian, who hands him a bag of tortilla chips as a kind of apology.

Jack knows that Rian shouldn't really be giving him the chips, and besides there's nothing to apologize for, it's not Rian's fault that his boss is a dick. He wants to refuse Rian's offer but he also doesn't know where he's getting lunch and his last shred of dignity got lost somewhere a long, long time ago.

-

When Jack arrives at the mall he's pleasantly surprised to see volunteers already setting up for the event. The tent heaters are already up, and someone is arranging clusters of orange and black balloons around the area. Jack carefully places his guitar case against the wall of the mall before sitting down. He'll probably get asked to leave in a thirty minutes but for the moment it's a good enough place to be. He's strategically close to a heater and every single times the thing rotates his way a blast of warm air hits him in the face.

He's almost fallen asleep with one hand on his guitar when he hears what sounds like a guy's voice talking. It takes him a few seconds to realize that the mystery guy is talking to him.

"-and I was like, dude, you need to shave. You look like a fucking emo Jesus." Jack can't help but snicker, even though he's completely confused as to why this guy is talking to him in the first place.

The guy sticks out his hand like he's expecting Jack to shake it "Alex Gaskarth, pleased to meet you." Jack winces at the grease on his hands. He makes a halfhearted attempt to wipe them on his skinny jeans, then figures it's useless. He sticks his hand in Alex's and is shakes it awkwardly, almost leaning away from Alex. Jack hasn't shaken someone's hand in a while and he's still kind of unfamiliar with the whole motion. He has a weird feeling that his hand is too limp in Alex's, like a dead fish or something. Jack blushes and suddenly becomes fascinated by a crack in the sidewalk next to him.

"You were sleeping, weren't you? Shit, I'm so sorry, did I wake you up?" Alex is acting like it's completely normal to find a guy sleeping on the sidewalk, and Jack is grateful for that.

"No, it's fine. I was halfway there." All Jack wants to do is ask why him, why is Alex interested in him, but he feels like it must be impolite. Luckily for him Alex can see the question in his eyes and grins brightly, almost too brightly for what time it is in the morning.

"I don't bother people all the time, I just was so fucking bored at this event, and you had Converse on so I figured that you had to be a better person than these Sperry wearing idiots around me." Jack swivels his head and finds that it is true, Alex is the only volunteer with a patch of bright pink hair, ratty Converse and a band t-shirt that looks vaguely familiar. Everyone else appears to have coordinated their outfits because they're all wearing slim (but god forbid they're skinny) khaki pants, Sperrys and button downs with brightly colored sweaters.

Jack squints at the band t-shirt- the print is a little faded but he's pretty sure he's seen the logo somewhere. "The Boxing... Brigade?"

Alex acts like Christmas has come early. "You like them? Oh my god, I love them and no one has ever heard of them and what are your favorite albums-"

Jack doesn't want to cut the guy off but at the rate Alex's speaking he'll have recited their wikipedia page if he doesn't do something soon. "No, I don't really listen to them, we just got a new EP of theirs in shop." Alex's mouth is wide open, so Jack imagines that he's confused the poor guy. "I work at Melbourne Records and we got a new shipment in on Friday," He finishes lamely, feeling the need to clarify what he's said.

It's only after a few seconds that Jack realizes that no, Alex isn't confused, he's awestruck. His wide, glassy eyes, indicate that Alex must think Jack is a god. "I- you- it's- do you know how long I've been looking for that EP? They don't release it online ebcasue they believe in their fans being immersed-" Alex pauses and switches tactics. Clearly he senses that he's losing Jack's attention. "Can you reserve it for me? I'll pick it up on Wednesday, after school."

"Sure," Jack shrugs carelessly even though his heart is racing. He thinks that he likes Alex, in all of his gangly enthusiasm and cheerfulness. 

Alex grins at him. "It's a date then, right?"Jack nods mutely, fiddling with his laces. He feels Alex staring at him, and moves to look but because he's confused (it's not often that he's stared down by cute guys), but then he's gone and Jack is alone again.

-

School seemed like even more of a blur to Jack. Monday and Tuesday mash together in a gray fog. Jack makes an effort to care, then fails.

People complain about high school (Bullies! Drama! And so much more!) but Jack thinks that they're a world apart from him. They have families, friends, social lives. Jack drifts through the hallways, sits in the back of all of his classes and is overwhelmingly average, something that causes him to fade into oblivion. Nobody has ever said a cruel word to him in his two years at that school, although possibly because they haven't noticed that he attends their school to begin with.

He has friends, sure, but they're all just acquaintances. They have more vibrant people to converse with, people who are more alive than Jack, people who are interesting and witty and entertaining. The best parts of Jack's day don't include any of his friends, but instead consist of arriving at the record shop and whatever he does there. Jenna is usually present but busy with some financing thing so she lets him play whatever he wants to. He usually blasts Blink 182, or The Story So Far, sometimes adding a dash of Green Day or Pierce the Veil. Occasionally he'll play old Fall Out Boy, but one of Jenna's numerous ex-boyfriends liked them, so it's a controversial choice in their small, closed off little world.

As soon as the final bell rings most of the students are jolting out of their seats, haphazardly packed backpacks on their slung over their shoulders and the requisite empty compliment (Thanks for the lesson Mrs. Jonsons!) tossed out before they rush out the door. Jack usually takes his time, packs his bag more carefully and walks a little more slowly. Maybe it's because he doesn't see why they're all in such a rush. He has nothing waiting for him outside the doors.

Today is different. Alex going to visit him at the record store (in reality he's is just going to pick up his EP, but maybe Jack is tired of being lonely) and Jack finds that he taps his feet, fiddles with his sleeves and doodles in the margins of his notes. He too packs his bag messily, tossing things in a few minutes before class ends and for the first time in his life he's in the tangle of people trying to get out the door. He realizes that the rush, the want to escape high school stems from a bittersweet feeling of belonging, of being wanted.

Jenna cares, he knows that. But she's always busy, it's not like the early days of the store when they would just play records and lie on their backs, talking about their lives. She has a new boyfriend that's making her unhappy and more financial responsibilities that appropriate for a twenty-two year old Australian transplant.

The walk to the stop is more hurried than usual. For the first time this season Jack doesn't wince every single time a cold breeze hits him in the face, partially because he's wearing a band t-shirt, a hoodie and then his new winter parka over the entire mess. Normally when Jack shops at Salvation Army he throws whatever's cheapest and warmest into his cart. He shops for practicality, not for fashion (except his skinny jeans, but that's another story). This time was different. Jack took his time, picked out shirts that he thought might actually look good on him and carefully selected a winter jacket. He ended up with a hooded cargo thing that looks totally badass but is a little too light for the weather, hence the extra hoodie underneath.

Jack wonders why he cares so much about what Alex thinks of him, then decides not to answer that question. It's veering into dangerous territory, thinking about actually being in a relationship with someone. 

When he finally enters the shop three minutes before his shift starts something seems off. Jenna is sitting at the register, which is unusual enough (she rarely comes out from the back these days) but there's something undeniably different-

Holy. Shit. Jenna's hair used to be blonde, but now it's a bright, in your face chartreuse. It's a shade or two off from the color of a lime and it's amazing and nausea inducing at the same time. 

"Your hair. It's... different." Jenna looks up from her phone and grins with a manic energy that doesn't go unnoticed.

"Yes, Jack. My hair was blonde. Now it's green. I'm aware, seeing as I'm the one who dyed it. Speaking of which-"

"-No." Jack cuts her off quickly. A few weeks ago he let Jenna bleach a patch of his hair. Now she wants to dye it lavender. Jenna doesn't reply, she just stares at him with increasing intensity and Jack is reminded of how she once let it slip that she used to play rugby. "Never was any good at it," she had said. "I kept on tackling the other girls without thinking much about the actual strategic consequences." Jack gulps and tries to change the subject quickly.

"Er- did you break up with your boyfriend or something?" He guesses tentatively. Instantly the smile falls off of Jenna's face.

"He broke up with me," she snaps. "He said I was looking for too much. That I was fun for a while, that's what he thought, and it was never supposed to be anything more than a one night stand with that drunk blonde and he never wanted it to be anything more."

Jack isn't good at comforting people (in fact, most of the time people touching him makes him feel sick), but for some reason he feels that the right thing to do is hug her, so he does. He shuffles in closer to Jenna and awkwardly encloses her in his arms. She's stiff for a few seconds before resting her head on his shoulder and returning the embrace. He can feel something wet hit his neck and he assumes that she's crying. With a sigh Jack relaxes more into the hug and reaches up hesitantly to pat her head when the bell above the door rings and he hears a familiar voice say awkwardly, "If now isn't a good time I can leave."

With a jolt Jack realizes that it's Alex and crap he's still hugging his boss. In his zeal to untangle himself from Jenna he ends up sort of shoving her away. She gives him a hurt look before wiping her eyes and going back to looking at her phone. Her lip is stuck out in a sullen pout and Jack feels like he should say to her, but shit, Alex is staring at him and he's been waiting for this moment for two days. 

"I- er- hi Alex. This is my... boss. Jenna." Jenna looks up over her phone and glares at Alex in an unprofessional manner.

"That's right, I'm Jack's boss, owner of the store and all that fun stuff," she says tartly before going back to whatever's on her screen. 

The air in the room becomes uncomfortably stiff. Jenna is still sulking (Jack will have to apologize later) and Alex is staring down at his feet like they're the most interesting thing he's ever seen. Jack bites his lip, caught between the two. A quick WWJD reveals nothing because a) Jack doesn't believe in God, and b) Jesus wouldn't have a massive crush on another guy so Jack stalls until the silence becomes unbearable before acting. He hesitates, then says, "So! Let's get you that EP, right? I put it back in the shipment box, it's somewhere in the storeroom. Let us sally forth!" Everyone in the room winces, Jack's tone is far too bright and chipper for the situation that they're in.

"Yeah. I guess so." Jenna tosses out, her tone still short and clipped but with a warmth in her eyes that informs Jack that he's been forgiven. Alex follows Jack gratefully into the back of the store, dodging stacked boxes and heaps of promotional flyers from bands. 

"Thank you so much for reserving this," Alex says, his enthusiasm coming back. "I can't wait to listen to it and Olivia is going to die when she hears I have this, she's literally going to burst from jealousy and-" Jack has accidentally unlodged a box that was clearly instrumental in holding all the others up because suddenly there's a loud crashing sound as boxes begin to rain down from the tower.

It only takes a few seconds before five boxes and their contents are scattered on the ground everywhere. A few CD cases appear to have been cracked and some vinyls look bent at odd angles or broken but the rest are fine, their fall broken by the thick layer of papers strewn over the floor.

"Well." Alex says after a short pause. "We've gone and truly fucked this up, haven't we."

-

Jenna yells for a while, then starts crying, then reverts back to yelling. Jack feels terrible for breaking the merchandise when she's in such a delicate emotional state. He's not taking anything she's saying too personally, she doesn't really mean what she's saying. He's been through the drill- Jenna rants, gets tired, has a good crying session, then apologizes for the whole affair. Jack knows Jenna is a good person, she just has too much weighing on her that make her sad, and she likes to hide the sad by becoming uncontrollably mad. Alex isn't faring as well. He looks... well... pissed. As Jenna launches into another tirade Alex decides he's done. He steps forward, fists clenched, and screams,

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! LIKE, THREE CDS WERE BROKEN, CALM DOWN."

Jenna is shocked into silence. She's not used to people fighting back when she's in the middle of a rant. What normally happens is the sane people walk away slowly and the others sit through it, waiting for her to tire out and apologize. Then her eyes narrow dangerously and Jack feels like maybe someone will die today. "THIS IS MY LIVING YOU IGNORANT LITTLE PISSHEAD. IF YOU BREAK IT DADDY CAN PAY FOR IT BUT I DON'T GET THAT OKAY? THIS IS REAL LIFE."

"YOU'RE WHAT, TWENTY? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LIFE?" Alex retorts angrily, eyes blazing.

"MORE THAN YOU, YOU HAVE THE MENTAL STATE OF A SIX YEAR OLD. YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHO I SERVE IN THIS SHOP AND I WON'T HAVE YOU AND YOUR NEGATIVE ENERGY IN HERE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE AND DON'T COME BACK. CONSIDER YOURSELF BANNED YOU LITTLE FUCKER."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WITH NEGATIVE ENERGY! AND FINE, I HATE YOUR STORE ANYWAY. I'M NEVER COMING BACK."

And so ends Jack Barakat's first not-really-but-he'd-like-it-to-be date with Alex.

-

Jack is hesitant to go White Marsh for a while. He still gets the free food from Taco Bell but as soon as he steps inside the mall property he starts fidgeting, thinking about how Alex left and how he never tried to come back. Jack bought the EP for Alex, but after the first couple of weeks he accepts he's not going to see him again. October turns into November, and it's only then, sitting at a lunch table with Sunny, Vic and Jeremy, that he hears about Alex again.

"Yeah, that Gaskarth kid," Sunny says conversationally one day, biting into her sandwich. "My brother knows him. Said he's really nice until he gets drunk or mad (god forbid both), then he goes crazy. Like, window smashing crazy. I think one time he broke someone's arm and the kid's family almost sued him but his family said it was because of some family tragedy and that was that. He doesn't go to parties anymore, which kind of sucks." She talks about him like he's this untouchable legend, some kind of irritable, easily angered god. Jack is uncomfortably reminded of Jenna and he almost wonders if Alex is sad too, but then decides to drop it because as Jenna once said, fucking boys were the ones that were the mysteries.

Vic sighs wistfully. "I would have loved to have seen him in his heyday. Like, how awesome? I want to be able to hulk out. I could be like a short Hulk. I bet Bruce Banner was short." 

Jeremy chokes on his water from laughing, because Vic is really short and non threatening, and then Sunny's laughing, and then finally Jack too and they forget all about the weird Gaskarth kid and don't mention him again (except for Jack, he doesn't really forget, he files it away into a corner of his brain to ponder in his cold apartment after school).

Three weeks later that Gaskarth kid comes up again and everyone knows because what he's about to do is legendary. Apparently someone at his school was being an asshole, asking why he didn't get drunk and go to parties anymore, and Alex replied that maybe that idiot deserved to see why, and that he was going to be at Tabby Kikerman's party, Saturday night. 

Everyone that was present when Alex tried to destroy the town statue (and succeeded in chipping off a substantial part of bronze from one of ram's horns) is talking about it because Alex Gaskarth drunk is a once in a lifetime thing and then someone starts saying that it's the last party he'll ever attend and suddenly everyone is going to Tabby Kikerman's party and everyone is excited (except for Tabby, who's worried about how she's going to hide this from her parents).

Jack doesn't know why he's determined to go, maybe because he doesn't like how everyone's treating Alex like an interesting lab experiment to poke and prod.

"Or, maybe it's because you like him and have a weird obsession with his wellbeing." Jenna sings as she waltzes out of her closet wearing a pair black Doc Martens, grey skinny jeans, a white muscle tee and what appears to be a lacy, black bra. Jack almost falls off the bed in shock. He's never seen Jenna in anything but jeans and guy's shirts, so the unexpectedly sexy clothing is surprising.

"That's very-" Jack pauses, searching for the most non offensive word he can find. "-very special."

Jenna rolls her eyes. "C'mon Jack, you can do better than that. If I want to crash this gathering of horny, angsty teenagers I have to look the part." Jack just rolls his eyes. He doesn't know why Jenna has taken it upon herself to invite herself and 'chaperone' the party, but since she's pretty much his only friend he figures he shouldn't complain. Jenna seems to have forgiven Alex which is a definite plus, either that or she's forgotten who he is. 

"I think you should lose some of the makeup, it'll make you look younger, the girls that wear it in the first place are trying to look older." Jack says after some scrutinizing of Jenna. He waves a hand near her face and takes a look at her outfit again. "The clothes are too different. I've got no idea why but you stick out too much."

Jenna frowns, considering his suggestions. After a few seconds of thinking she pulls her shirt off and throws it at Jack. Jack catches it and holds it over his eyes for politeness sake. Jenna's got a pretty nice body (that guessing from her long string of ex-boyfriends and one night stands, a lot of guys like) but Jack isn't really interested, so he guesses that the cloth he's holding up to his eyes is purely symbolical.

After some clattering and cursing Jenna sneaks up on him and pokes him in the shoulder, making him jump. "You can look now, you oddly respectful teenage boy." Jack peeks over the shirt and sees that yes, this is indeed an improvement. Jenna's let her hair down and put it in some half up, half down style that a lot of girls in Baltimore wear. She's wearing a low cut pair of jeans, white Converse and a white crop top that shows her stomach. Jack nods in approval. She's ditched the heavy smoky eyeshadow in favor of some kind of eyeliner thing and taken out her nose ring. She's even procured some fake hipster glasses with plastic lenses that are perched on the bridge of her nose. Jenna looks like she's sixteen and if it weren't for the neon hair she would look like a innocent little lamb in the middle of the slavering pit of teenage boys.

"Better," Jack says, smiling in approval. "Much better." Jenna beams in a satisfied manner.

"I'm glad that's over and done with. Well, we've got about an hour until the party officially starts so now we can do you!"

"What do you mean do- oh no I don't want to-" Jack doesn't even get to finish his sentence before Jenna pounces on him.

-

Jack hasn't been to a high school party before, mostly because his childhood was filled with enough violence, alcohol and sex to last him for the rest of his life. He doesn't see the allure of the careless debauchery his classmates participate in. Besides, most of the time Jack is either working, busking or trying to make ends meet in his apartment. He doesn't have time for fun.

"Look like you're having fun," Jenna hisses, jabbing a sharp elbow into his side. Jack flinches more than necessary and edges into the wall. The loud music playing, the mass of teenagers and the general havoc are making him uncomfortable and fidgety. Alex isn't anywhere and Jack is starting to worry that he won't come. Jack's been worrying for a while, actually. He winces at every new sound or movement in his direction. 

"I'm not. Having fun, that is." Jack mumbles, picking at his hoodie. "I've got no idea what you did to my hair and I look stupid in this hoodie. It's not even a real one, it's all weird. And tight. And it's yours."

Jenna rolls her eyes. "I know. It's fitted, y'know? That Alex kid is definitely gay, he reeks of unresolved sexual confusion. When he sees you in those jeans and cute little hoodie he'll fall over himself to-" Jack sighs gratefully as Jenna's attempt at a motivational speech is interrupted as a short, pretty brunette slams into her. 

"Um, excuse me?" the girl snaps, pushing her way past them. Jenna's eyes narrow.

"You're the one that needs to be excused, I was standing here perfectly innocently and-" Jenna's words die in her mouth as she takes in how attractive the girl is. As a completely unbiased bystander, Jack has to admit that despite her general attitude and behavioral problems, she was pretty nice looking. Brown eyes, brown curly hair, a nose ring and a wicked gleam in her eyes that belies her cute features. Her leather jacket, black shirt and tight black skinny jeans give off a 'I don't give a fuck vibe'. The girl seems to have completely entranced Jenna, who's staring at her with huge eyes.

"Sorry princess, you're the one in the wrong here." The girl smirks confidently before stepping away from Jenna, and back into the crowd. She blows a kiss at Jenna before she disappears into the throng of people dancing and even though Jack was pretty sure Jenna was 100% straight she blushes. Jenna. Blushes.

Jenna McDougall doesn't blush. In all the time Jack has known her he's observed that she likes to chase men, she likes to hunt them with a predatory gleam in her eye. Jenna isn't swayed by men, she's the one who sways them.

(Apparently it's different for girls).

Jack's about to open his mouth and say something appropriately mocking when someone taps him on the shoulder. He spins around to respond and it's Alex, drunk out of his mind and jumping up and down.

"Jaaaaackie!" he squeals, launching himself at Jack with the purpose of giving him a hug, although it turns into more of a weird tangle of limbs. "You came! I'm so happy. I've missed you!"

"Hi Alex," Jack replies, his heart racing at the contact. "It's- um- been a while. Maybe-"

"-you guys should go talk outside." Jenna interjects smoothly after giving Alex once over. "Kid's totally wasted and if the stories are true then it's better he kick your skinny ass rather than someone who will beat the shit out of him."

"Really feeling the love now," Jack replies snarkily, already tugging Alex outside. "And I guess you'll be with that girl."

Jenna winks before melting into the crowd.

-

It only takes a few seconds for Jack to realize two very painful things: Alex is completely wasted, to the point where he’s apt to pass out at any minute, and he’s completely aware of what all the slavering, blood hungry teenagers want him to do.

“They want a show, y’know?” Alex mumbles, falling on Jack’s shoulder as they stumble their way out the door. “It’s all ‘cause I do stupid stuff when I’m drunk and they all like it.”

“You don’t have to do that for them,” Jack says gently, helping Alex sit down on a bench outside. “You can just say no, and not go to parties like you were.”

“But I like the attention. It makes me really special, being able to do all the stuff I do.” Jack isn't sure that doing stupid shit counts as special, but it certainly is attention grabbing.

“Maybe-” Jack hesitates, unsure of how this comment will go over. “Maybe we could just take you home and you wouldn't have to do anything. Anything bad, I mean. It might be fun."

Alex smiles sadly and shrugs. For one beautiful, indesiscive moment Jack thinks that Alex is going to agree, that he's going to just go home and forget these crazy attention schemes when a very drunk Sunny slides onto the bench and latches on to Jack. Jack startles, mostly because he hasn't seen Sunny all evening, not since he got to the party in the first place but Alex seems to interperate as fear because suddenly he's on his feet and furious.

"Get the fuck away from him," he spits, staring her down. 

Sunny just smiles triumphantly, with a hint of something wicked in her eye. She's always been perceptive, maybe a little too much, because she looks smug, like she's got a way to finally poke Alex Gaskarth enough that he'll cease to become human and instead become the urban legend they came to see.

"I'm sorry, he's not yours," she purrs, clinging to him even tighter, rubbing her face against his. Sunny shifts so that she's straddling him and suddenly her mouth's on his and Jack is frozen because it's very, very wrong and normal Sunny wouldn't do this-

-and then she's being ripped off of him and Alex is screaming at her (but Jack thinks he sees something unspeakably sad in his eyes as well) and the outdoor plants are being thrown and everything is a huge, huge mess. Jack's still on the bench, he's stuck, now he's just watching the show- isn't that what he came to see in the first place?

Sunny is cowering, but it's calculated, the way she hunches her shoulders and uses her hair to cover her face. Jack knows she did it on purpose. She wanted this to happen, and congratulations, it has. Alex is yelling, something about someone named Tom, and conspiracies, and that they killed him and he was dead-

In a flash of neon Jenna appears on the porch and pushes past the eager teenagers and their bloodthirsty grins and their hungry eyes. She grabs Jack by the hand and Alex by the waist and tugs them both out of the pit of teenagers, towards the back. At first the crowd protests and starts to push but the sudden, shrill sound of sirens makes everyone scream and scatter, running desperately with their red Solo cups thrown on the lawn and discarded.

Jenna's a queen, a lifesaver and Jack loves her as she takes them through the backyard. They cut into the neighbor's lawn and stay by the bushes, dragging Alex behind them as they run. Jenna's a legal adult but Alex and Jack are seventeen, too young to be drinking. If they get caught she'll be the one in trouble, the one the law persecutes, and it's this fact that propels Jack forward, faster than he's ever run.

They cut through side streets, barely making it to the car (why did they park it so far away?) and collapsing inside before a patrol car whizzes by them, searching for the running teenagers. 

Jack gasps for breath, wheezing while Alex snuggles against him, too wasted to fully comprehend any of the events of that night.

"I- I'm so sorry Jenna, I shouldn't have let you come and this is such a mess-"

There's a tired pause and for a second Jack swears he can hear crickets chirping but then Jenna is turning around, a crazy grin on her face and her eyes glittering with life. It's just like old Jenna, before the boyfriends and the money problems. 

She shrugs and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It's fine, honestly. You think this is bad? The parties is Melbourne were so much better- did you know one year we spraypainted a mural on the side of our highschool? This was... fun. Reminds me of when I was younger."

"But we had to leave early," Jack says lamely, adjusting himself so Alex's head isn't digging so much into his shoulder.

"It wasn't a waste, not really. I heard some kid call the police, so I got us out of there free of charge, and besides, I got Tay's number. Y'know, the girl who knocked into me." Jenna winks at the last part, grinning triumphantly as she starts the car up. The car roars and Jack thinks maybe tonight wasn't such a loss after all.

After all, he's got Alex cuddling his side and old, wild Jenna back. The only one who really fucked up tonight, he muses, is poor Tabby Kikerman who's going to have to buy all new potted plants and explain the visit from the police to her parents.

-

The bell rings above the door, causing Jack to sit up and blink sleepily. He makes a half-hearted attempt to sit up straight and look attentive, but then he sees it's just Alex. Alex's eyes flick around the shop warily before he decides that the coast is clear and walks up to the counter.

"Jenna's not here." Jack says, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He didn't think he'd actually see anyone important today so he's wearing his thick, black nerd glasses. They're like those blocky ones that hipsters where, only less cool because Jack himself is painfully uncool.

"Oh. Cool. Anyway- thanks for the EP. You really didn't have to give it to me but it's really awesome of you to do. I- uh- I can pay you for that. I brought some money." Alex offers up a crumpled twenty dollar bill. Jack looks at it with vague interest. The money is much appreciated but at the same time he doesn't want to look like the desperate, money grabbing person that he is in front of Alex.

“Nah, it’s fine, I can cover that.” Alex’s face crumples as he appears to think it over for a few seconds.

“I insist,” he says in a horrendous English accent. “How dare you deny my fabulous money.” Jack snickers.

“Where did you get that accent, h2O?”

“No, I used to live in England. My accent’s actually very good compared to all of you septic tanks here.”

Jack blinks. “I’m a what?” He says while turns back to the cash register. 

“You’re a septic tank, which rhymes with yank,” Jenna says smoothly while sliding through the shop door. Alex startles as soon as he sees her. His eyes dart nervously as he tries to calculate an escape route. Jenna just rolls her eyes. “It’s fine, I’m not mad at you anymore, sorry for yelling, whatever. The moment I saw you try to cuddle up with Jack, who’s nothing but bones and is the worst cuddle buddy ever was the moment I decided you were officially too pitiable for me to waste my time on. Therefore, I no longer hate you and fantasize about finding your house and burning it to the ground.

Alex looks a little bit alarmed at the casual way Jenna mentions arson, but he seems to get over it fairly quickly. “Right, I’m sorry too,” he mumbles awkwardly. “I- er- shouldn’t have shouted.”

Jenna just grins and claps him on the shoulder. “S’okay,” she says cheerfully. “Besides, our little Jackie here is in need of a good shag, he hasn’t had one in ages.” She winks at Alex conspiritally in the end and it’s in this moment that Jack decides that he likes it better when Jenna hates Alex because together they’re about to make his life miserable.

-

"Hey, Alex? We're friends, right?"

"Yeah. Um. Is there a problem, dude?"

"No! I mean- er- no. I was just wondering if maybe we... well... we've got some- oh shit, I can't say this without sounding like a bad rom-com."

"Well now I'm all curious. Shut up and tell me."

"I think- we- er- I like you. Like, like like you."

"What are we, in kindergarten again? Aw Jackypoo, I like like you too."

"Shut up!"

"Just kidding, are you trying to get me to ask you out on a date?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know. I want to be the one that asks you."

"Fuck, you're weird. Well? Go on then."

"Will you go on a date with me Alex?"

-

Their first date was an uncontrolled disaster, Jack thinks as he lies on the floor of Alex's bathroom in utter misery. His stomach's acting like there's a hurricane inside and his head aches and just thinking about sitting up makes him want to throw up. Again. 

In retrospect, Taco Bell is probably not the best place for a first date, or any date. The thing is, Jack's kind of a loser, teenage dirtbag, tumbleweed drifting around aimlessly but he wants to be more for Alex. He wants to be someone who's self sustainable and got a plan for the future. This translated into Jack taking Alex out for dinner and covering the bill, which was a nice idea but pretty hard to implement in real life. Jack has no money and no car, so taking Alex somewhere would be impossible.

Enter Rian with his blindingly white teeth. Rian was forced to sit through Jack's various rants and complaints, then came through with the suggestion that Jack take Alex to the Taco Bell. Jack could probably afford that and they could take the bus, or maybe borrow Jenna's car (the fact that Jack doesn't have a drivers lisence was mysteriously ignored). Anyway, Jack figured that it was actually a pretty good idea.

It was a terrible idea. Firstly, it is impossible to look attractive whilst eating burritos filled with god knows what. Rian promised that his friend Gerard, the assistant chef, was an artist and made heavenly food. Gerard would make them a wonderful three course meal and it would be as romantic as possible considering the surroundings.

Lies. Such lies. Gerard made some hellish burrito thing that went everywhere and Jack got sour cream on his nose and guacamole on in his eyebrow. And the three course meal turned out to be tortilla chips and salsa, some weird burrito that probably contained rat livers and a sad mockery of cupcake. Gerard is also incapable of cooking, because while the food tasted okay at first it probably had some cleaning chemicals in it.

Jack's lying in Alex's house in misery because Alex's parents (lovely people named Peter and Isobel) think he's not well enough to go home, which is probably a good idea, seeing as he's emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet three times.

"I hate my life," Jack moans as Alex plops down next to him. Alex is one of those people with an unhumanely good digestive system and he is totally unaffected by the monstrosity that was their dinner.

"D'you wanna hear a story?" Alex says cheerfully, sticking a picture book into Jack's face. "You've probably heard it loads of times, but what can I say? Harry Potter's a classic."

"I've never read Harry Potter," Jack says miserably, staring at the overhead light. "I moved families too much to and fuck, this must be what giving birth is like. Thank the sweet, non existant Lord Jesus I'm a dude, oh my god,"

"Shhhh," Alex says loudly. "I'm going to ignore the fact that you told me move families because you'll elaborate on that later. You need to be distracted, and there is nothing more life changing that the masterful storytelling of J. K. Rowling."

As Jack listens to Alex read he feels a shifting in the air, in himself. He thinks that maybe he likes Alex and maybe this unfamiliar dropping feeling in his stomach isn't the food that he ate, but something different. Maybe he's falling in love with a stupid kid that drinks too much and gets a little too angry and has a weird pink splotch of hair and that likes Harry Potter.


End file.
